Knees. Clarity. Change.

Through the history of man, change has been an interesting concept to note.  Change does not occur often and when it does, it seems to be in the smallest degree.  A historic look at man shows time and again that man reverts to the same old ways.  It does not matter if technology changes our day to day living and money changes our circumstances, by and large, we still revert back to the very mannerisms that existed thousands of years ago.  In fact, our struggles as a society as well as our individual struggles appear to be the exact struggles that existed thousands of years ago and have been repeated many many times.

So what creates change?  Pain.  And perseverance.  And getting pushed to our limits.  And then getting pushed even harder.  Then harder still.  So hard that we break.  

How stubborn we are as humans is the fight we must fight.  Our stubborn streak is as thick as molasses.  It is even thicker.  And to change these habits that are ingrained in our being so deep that we can no longer see them is near impossible.  

For an alcoholic his road to recovery starts with admitting he is an alcoholic.  He can't see what is so obvious to those around him.  And when he admits he has a problem he can start the long road to recovery.  It is simple for an outsider to say "stop drinking" and think the problem is solved.  But for the alcoholic, he must walk a very narrow and steep path to recovery.  It all begins with finding the smallest bit of clarity and standing back to see that a problem exists.  The full extent of the problem is not seen at this stage.  

We all suffer from similar issues it is just not always as clearly defined as alcoholism.  We can't see our issues either.  We have long since been blinded by our own self interest, our stubborn streak, our comfort in this life.  And when we are put to the test, we pat ourselves on the back in the belief that we have overcome.  Then we go back to the comfort zone.  Not to learn anything.  Not to change anything.

Change is impossible in these circumstances.  And for the bulk of society it will never change.  They will live out their circumstances in their comfort zone and they will overcome each of life's challenges.

Some of us get picked.  And when you get picked, you have a whole new set of challenges. One after another.  Never ending and each seems to be bigger than the last until we break. We hit our knees.  This is not a one time event.  We learn to live on our knees.  And when we learn that life on our knees is the change, the color of the world changes.  Light is seen and real change happens.  Clarity is interesting from this perspective.  From our knees we dismiss the concept of comfort.  We live not month to month or paycheck to paycheck or even day by day.  On our knees we live in this moment.  The next moment will come when it comes.  And we will face it on our knees.  When we stand back up, we are destined to fail again.  Life is no longer about us.  It is certainly not about me.  That is the sort of clarity that becomes so obvious.  But I can't see that when I stand and I have strength. I can't see it when I stand and have pride in my looks and my muscles and my brain.  The true light is covered from this position.  I can only see the true light when I get on my knees and can no longer see myself.

Life on our knees hurts.  I am too old to be on my knees - are you?  Yet we do it and it hurts.  Why?  So we can see clearly.  The pain will continue.  And as a result, our vision improves.  It is not about the pain, it is about the clarity of vision.  As vision improves, we improve.  But the pain does not necessarily leave. On our knees we can see why the pain is necessary.  If we are out of pain, we will stand once again.  That seems like a really bad idea.

The body is meaningless.  It is only a vehicle for a larger purpose.  The day is only a vehicle for a larger purpose.  You don't get a hand in determine that purpose.  We are only a follower, a servant in this purpose.  Not a leader.  Only a servant.  The service will not be easy or pain free.  If it is, then the vision will become clouded just like the millions and millions of people that have walked this path before. We are not called to follow their paths to comfort.  No knees needed there.  No thank you.